| 
The different stages of growth and progression through our lives
are marked by rituals known as Rites of Passage. As we make the transition from one social status
to the next, we acknowledge it with a ceremony or
religious service and/or some form of celebration.
A rite of passage signifies both the end
of one phase and the beginning of a new one and with that
comes the often- resisted change.
As we leave junior school and go to high school
and leave there to go to college or get a job,
we are in effect going through various rites of passage
though in the UK they are not really recognised as that.
| |
Even college graduation with traditional
cap and gown and Coming of Age birthday celebrations
with a surfeit of alcohol are rarely referred to or thought
of as Rites of Passage-yet they are very significant ones.
|
They are all milestones and they punctuate our human
journey through life. They bring meaning, direction and focus
and provide a wonderful opportunity for recollection, self- reflection
and understanding.
GETTING
MARRIED IS A MAJOR RITE OF PASSAGE
We can look at Rites of Passage
in 3 stages
1. Preliminary Stage -
SEPARATION
In terms of getting married this is when, following your decision
to marry, you begin the psychological process of letting
go of the current structure of your single life and your
identity as a single woman. It prompts change
in the balance and dynamics of your relationships with family and
friends.
For some there may be just subtle adjustments -even so it can bring
up lots of unexpected feeling. If
you know that it is happening you are able to prepare for it and
deal with it.
2. Middle Stage- TRANSITION
This is the last few weeks just before and right up to and including
the day of your wedding, when you are no longer single but not
yet married. You are, in fact, ‘in limbo’
and it can be most unsettling. The
transition from being single to married is now in full flow.
When you are neither one thing nor another, the temporary
loss of identity can be disorientating and conjure up confusing
emotions of panic and anxiety as well as fear
which can present itself as anger.
It's my feeling that, in the final stages of wedding planning,
this is often the reason for everything spiraling out of control
and descending into chaos. BEWARE THE DEADLY VENOM OF THE BRIDEZILLA
- THIS IS HER MAIN ARENA!!
Again, if you are clued up to what is going on within you,
you will be able to recognise your emotions, read what is
happening and so relax more to allow the transition to
occur… instead of resisting it.
3 Final Stage- INTEGRATION
The nucleus of your wedding day is your marriage ceremony.
This is where the real action happens and as you speak
your vows and those two immortal words you step into
the shoes of a married woman. The transition is complete.
Phew! Relief all round.
You are now officially united as husband and wife
and the two of you can spend the next twelve months incorporating
your new identity and status into your lives.
It takes time to let the dust settle, readjust and begin
to get into the groove of a brand new phase. YOU
SEE- IT’S NOT ALL OVER AFTER YOUR WEDDING DAY-IT REALLY IS
THE BEGINNING OF SOMETHING ELSE!
If you decide to recognise and embrace
this rite of passage and allow yourself to come to terms
with what is happening
You will get a
great deal of value and fulfilment from the months leading up to
your wedding
AND
Give yourself the best
chance of being right in the moment on your wedding day… and
that is an incredible feeling!
 |
|
| You
can receive my special in depth article -7 Real Reasons for
Wedding Planning Stress and How You Can Completely Avoid It
- for free! |
|
|
|
